The Story That Never Started by Piyush Gupta

Author:Piyush Gupta [Gupta, Piyush]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Redgrab books
Published: 2020-02-09T22:00:00+00:00

Mohit Banerjee

A cursor keeps blinking on the white screen and stares at me as I run out of content to write. I have written everything from day one, when Roshni came to my life, until today. So, I start proofreading. I encounter numerous grammatical errors. I have missed several lines that I thought that I had written, but I haven't. Despite the flaws, I get to live the same days with Roshni again. Every time I made her smile. Holding her hand during the jaunts. Losing to her in alphabet game. And the battery of events which plucked the weed—me—from her life.

While writing the story I have omitted the crime I, Dhir and Sahil did. I obviously don’t want to go to jail for my honesty and the last few pages are kind of repeating. Same longing and yearning days and all. But I want to write more. Currently, I have written 20,000 words. I don’t know at how many words will it end. I don’t know if I will be able to end it. I don’t know even how to end it. My story has no ending.

I smoke to calm my brain and heart. I feel like I am in midst of nowhere. In most of my time I think of committing suicide. The sharpest knife in the kitchen. The towering skyscrapers of Mumbai. The open railway lines. Drinking and driving. Ban on food. Rat poison. Sleeping pills overdose. Or the classic—rope and ceiling fan. I have imagined my death in every possible way. But the hope that Roshni will come back running to me is not letting me back down.

Recently, the clients at work drew up a contract and had me sign it. Work is keeping me busy or else it would have been difficult to get on with life. Another day with paper, pen, clients, charts, numbers gets over. I get along with Shawn and his boyfriend, Akash after work to iron out my mental condition in a pub. The air around is electric. Before getting our hands on alcohol, we decide to have some balls down the hole on the billiard table. I am enjoying the game because I am winning, like every time. At first, I didn’t like billiards, but then it grew on me.

‘There you go,’ Akash says as I knock the last ball on the table with my cue into the hole. After cracking up on Akash’s quips, I feel like celebrating. I pick up a blended shot and finish it in single gulp.

‘So, you still live alone?’ Akash throws his hands across my shoulder.

‘Hmm.’ I get tipsy.

‘I and Shawn are going to adopt child from an orphanage tomorrow. Why don’t you come with us? Who knows you may end up take three-four with you?’

‘…’ I give him an unconvinced look.

‘You stay alone and work your ass off. Don’t you get bored with shitty work? Don’t you feel like talking with someone?’ You’ve no idea how badly I want to be with someone.

‘No, I’m fine.

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